The Human Resources department at Wally’s Widgets, Inc. recently awarded a record bonus for productivity to Leslie Jones for achieving a record 99.999% active time during business hours for a full quarter.

Leslie, a sales representative with the company, credited their operations manager who offered the suggestion of taking a taxi from their New York office to a sales call in Dallas, Texas, rather than flying, because the taxi would be in motion for duration of the journey. Traveling by air, Leslie said, would result in sitting and waiting for the aircraft to board, provide flight instructions to the passengers, and similar wait times.

Their IT staff also assisted by adding steps to their order entry systems to ensure the user was never idle, waiting on their server to process input. “At least 14 clicks to add a Johnson Bolt! And another 22 to remove it from the order!” exclaimed Leslie. They also put reports in places difficult to find or remember, making it a constant hunt to find production status or shipping information.

When asked about Leslie’s financial contribution to sales during that quarter, a co-worker simply shrugged. “I don’t understand it. How can someone so productive add so little value?”